August 2025 update
project statuses, creative inroads, running etc
greetings dear friends. thanks for coming. Summer continues, Autumn looms.
WHAT HAPPENED IN JULY?
Hard to recall with precision. A mash of heat waves and global horror. M went to the coast for a few days for creative retreat. We both drove our kids to multiple points in the metro area. I’ve included some photos from this time frame throughout this post for your consideration. Let’s begin:
PROJECT UPDATES
Apology Ghost - World Premiering at Defy Film Festival in Nashville, TN later this month! So excited in large part b/c this film was made with a budget of zero entirely by myself, which really feels like the direction I am headed creatively. Apology Ghost plays in the Experimental block at 7 pm on Friday August 22. Tickets and info here. I am still not sure if I am going or not based on several factors (ie time and money) but I really want to.
Sister/Brother - 3 festival rejections so far. 2 rejections came from festivals I have played at before including a well-regarded but tiny regional festival, which makes the pain point of rejection that much more agonizing (not that I or my film are owed anything.) But the fact that this is a teeny tiny narrative feature that puts thematic focus on artistic endurance in the face of zero reason to gives these rejections a different degree of unpleasantness for me to say nothing of the fact that I've carried this project across the deserts of development, crowdfunding, pandemic, eons of post production to arrive here and be ignored really triggers my woe-is-me and excuse-me-are-you-joking buttons. Some of this I should save for my therapist probably but I include to show at least snapshot of the continued vagaries and consequences of deciding on the artistic pathway. Fraught with hazards of all stripes in service of a goal that gets more opaque and shadowy the further you progress. Oh wait, final score is not in yet. Maybe that will help the movie land in more generous cinematic cushions in the coming months. See, the delusion returns as quickly as it flies off. Is that cause for optimism or alarm? More about the project here.
Grief Stick - Rejected from a San Francisco based festival. This rejection was also painful but it was anticipated, kind of like a scheduled dental visit for deep scaling. You're emotionally prepared but it doesn't lessen the bleeding in your third quadrant or the sing-song chatter from the dental tech. Two non-festival autumn screenings are scheduled in Portland and I'll say more as they draw near. more about the film here
REJECTION CITY
wrote and recorded this song on 7.28.25, after a festival rejection. video here.
RUNNING
been doing more walking than running lately but on the evening of July 24, I ran at work on the treadmill on my lunch break. A mere 2 miles but it was like a lightning bolt of re-discovery, a union of purpose and clarity. Fog broke and I could see a path forward. Ran again two nights later. on my days off I ran two times with the dog who is jittery and slow which works fine for me. Let's see if it holds. Running, along with watching movies and being in the woods and spending time with family, is about the only thing that can quiet and still the chaos that sometimes happens in my head.
DEATH
no substantial inroads on this front, aside from trying to maintain some degree of mindfulness on a daily basis. Being cognizant of finality has been helpful and I’ve noticed that with aging the reminders start to accelerate.
BEST THINGS I READ in July: Scarecrow by Michael Connelly, Rose Gold by Walter Mosley, I Curse the River of Time by Pers Petterson, Final Cut by Charles Burns.
BEST THINGS I SAW in July: Beau Travail by Claire Denis (saw this as a much younger person), The Shrouds by David Cronenberg, Winter Sleep by Nuri Bilge Ceylan (omg yes), The Virgin Suicides by Sofia Coppola (at a movie theater! joy and bliss. this movie always gut punches me). Shame by Ingmar Bergman. (have you seen this? go watch it). Partially through American Primeval on Netflix and enjoying so far. Same for Ballard on Amazon.
That’s the broad scope of the highlights i guess. More to come. I remain a mix of resignation and unfounded optimism. How are you? Send word.
Loved this, man. Don't despair. What else are you going to do, but go the artistic way? (In John Heckel voice) "The notion... that you would just stop...would be a betrayal to yourself and your art." I love you Bri guy. Keep sending out your work. I have become ambivalent to rejection. I'm getting too old to depend on someone else's approval of me. I just want to share art. I try to keep that focus and see what comes from it. Money is important, but art and money often live in contradiction in a capitalistic society such as ours.